on ringtones

Ask The E.I. editor-- I have been busting with criticism of my iPhone 3G. One wonderful thing about it though is that it lets me, for free, create and edit my own ringtones from mp3 files.

I can now fully customize something that was in the past quite generic and arbitrary. I can now splice phrases of lovingly crafted songs into soundbytes, so that my phone will say something both to me and about me.

This is a great new power, and it has me considering a possible set of musical characteristics to shoot for in creating a ringtone. After all, I would like to use my newfound power wisely and effectively. Plus I should be making the coolest ringtones possible.

Here are the initial guidelines I have come up with:

1) A song should be relatively laid-back, given that I dislike being interrupted when i am meditating or asleep. A mellow ringtone will smooth any possible bristling effect of receiving a phone call at those moments. One example of a ringtone that I may consider adding is the intro to "Sweet Emotion," by Aerosmith.

2) Good ringtones should be songs that suit being worn hard. What I have in mind-

i- Classics that have made the transition from "standalone song" to "cultural fabric," like "Smooth Operator" by Sade

ii- Pop that was overplayed in the past. "My Boo" by Ghosttown DJ's is the ringtone on my phone that fulfills this. Recently overplayed pop is okay but might interfere with criterion (1) above

iii- Songs that are designed to be played frequently, like TV themes. I Love Lucy, Living Single, Mr Belvidere, or Reading Rainbow. Again, I would avoid newer stuff: its topicality is often too distracting to pull off what is supposed to verge on ambient sound

3) Songs that gently reference telephony or communication. Both "My Boo" and "Smooth Operator" are examples of this. Reference need not be lyrical, however; see below.

4) Sounds that mimic ringing or other repetitive alerts are ideal. I can think of 2 manifestations of this:

i- Literal imitation. e.g. of police sirens, as in "Pull Over (That Ass Too Fat)," by Trina

ii- Broader imitation via simple, clear-cut loops or basslines. Distinct repetition. Examples: "Atomic," by Blondie; "Gotta Man," by Eve; "Under Pressure,” by Queen; or even "Take It To the House," by Trick Daddy, for the trumpets


The possibilities are endless, but like I said I am hoping to make some sense out of them.

Hip Hop/ R&B in the Obaman Era

I'll start off by fully disclosing that I am not an Obama supporter. I recognize the historic nature of the election of the first biracial US president; however, that's about as far as I care to celebrate. My main interest lies in the effects this new era will have on popular music.

The music of Sept 11, 2001 through around Sept 2007 will, I think, define the '00's sound on the whole. The popular music of this era is mostly characterized by escapism from very somber world events. This was the time of Beyonce, Fergie, The Pussycat Dolls, and Chris Brown.

If the 2000's music era was all about escapism, the Obaman era so far seems to be about (what else?) hope. Already, I'm noticing Hip Hop and R&B artists getting a little more serious, a little more confessional, more sincere. Starting with Will.I.Am's ode to Obama, "Yes We Can," Hip Hop artists and R&B singers are involved in a mass-movement toward sincerity. Kanye, Q-Tip, and T.I. are all showing the subtle signs of transition (I might as well say it- of change).

All of this good will sure feels great. But whether it will translate into great music is a question that will be answered in part hopefully by 2012.

Achoo

A lot of times I will sneeze, and no one will bless me. I'm starting to believe that my sneezes must sound like coughs....

Reasons Why People Hate Lawyers: The Halloween Edition

Reason number 1: They create online services like LegalZoom.com that take all of the fun out of Halloween parties. I got an email from LegalZoom containing the following paragraph:

Halloween Parties That Won't Have You Running from the Law
You've thought of everything for your Halloween party: the food, the booze, and the fun. But what about the potential legal liabilities?

I would laugh if it weren't so annoying.

We're Number 5!!!

This post has nothing to do with the entertainment industry, but it is entertaining. According to Forbes Magazine, Tonga (this blogger's native country) ranks number 5 out of the world's most corrupt countries. We tied Uzbekistan!

I'm not sure what the criteria were for this list, but what exactly do we need to do to beat Haiti next year?

Let's Vote Already

I'm ready to vote now. Totally electioned out. Anyone who hasn't decided who to vote for yet should be fined. I'm even sick of talk radio at this point. I would be listening to more music instead, but it's been a really slow new music season. Nothing exciting in new pop currently. I blame the AIG executives.

Cee-Lo Green: My Musical Comfort Food

I'm in a rather bad/sad mood right now. But, I just turned on VH1 and caught a quick earful of Cee-Lo singing at Hip Hop Honors. The nasally boom of his voice somehow sends the same electric signals to my brain as Mac & Cheese. Fascinating.