on ringtones

Ask The E.I. editor-- I have been busting with criticism of my iPhone 3G. One wonderful thing about it though is that it lets me, for free, create and edit my own ringtones from mp3 files.

I can now fully customize something that was in the past quite generic and arbitrary. I can now splice phrases of lovingly crafted songs into soundbytes, so that my phone will say something both to me and about me.

This is a great new power, and it has me considering a possible set of musical characteristics to shoot for in creating a ringtone. After all, I would like to use my newfound power wisely and effectively. Plus I should be making the coolest ringtones possible.

Here are the initial guidelines I have come up with:

1) A song should be relatively laid-back, given that I dislike being interrupted when i am meditating or asleep. A mellow ringtone will smooth any possible bristling effect of receiving a phone call at those moments. One example of a ringtone that I may consider adding is the intro to "Sweet Emotion," by Aerosmith.

2) Good ringtones should be songs that suit being worn hard. What I have in mind-

i- Classics that have made the transition from "standalone song" to "cultural fabric," like "Smooth Operator" by Sade

ii- Pop that was overplayed in the past. "My Boo" by Ghosttown DJ's is the ringtone on my phone that fulfills this. Recently overplayed pop is okay but might interfere with criterion (1) above

iii- Songs that are designed to be played frequently, like TV themes. I Love Lucy, Living Single, Mr Belvidere, or Reading Rainbow. Again, I would avoid newer stuff: its topicality is often too distracting to pull off what is supposed to verge on ambient sound

3) Songs that gently reference telephony or communication. Both "My Boo" and "Smooth Operator" are examples of this. Reference need not be lyrical, however; see below.

4) Sounds that mimic ringing or other repetitive alerts are ideal. I can think of 2 manifestations of this:

i- Literal imitation. e.g. of police sirens, as in "Pull Over (That Ass Too Fat)," by Trina

ii- Broader imitation via simple, clear-cut loops or basslines. Distinct repetition. Examples: "Atomic," by Blondie; "Gotta Man," by Eve; "Under Pressure,” by Queen; or even "Take It To the House," by Trick Daddy, for the trumpets


The possibilities are endless, but like I said I am hoping to make some sense out of them.